I had an awakening, the last and greatest so far, on 10/31/2007 at 4:45 PM in Point Roberts, WA. I have always experienced a sense of presence with and in "me". I had always experienced the world as sacred and magical. I became aware of this presence as a vast and powerful intelligence, full of love, when I was five. Over the years, I learned to discern his inner guidance. It was he who gave me every awakening. It was he who showed me that there is no world "out there". There is, in fact, no "out". There is consciousness and we are that. There is no "separate self" but selves are unique perspectives ("Filters") or trait sets that are all eternal manifestations of the one Consciousness that is Source/First Cause.
The world we perceive to be "out there" is a projection of a reality within Consciousness. Intimacy is constant and only our concepts of being separate allow us to experience the semblance of "privacy" and "private subjective reality". No deed or thought is unwitnessed by the whole.
I have called this presence always "Michael". Asked about our relationship he has shown me the cosmos as a vast field in which to experience various degrees of imagined autonomy. We learn and become more and more like First Cause who many-fested Self as many selves that each might independently perceive and grow more and more like First Cause, exercising, at first unconsciously, their/our authority over experience as deity unawares. We are meant to evolve towards conscious appreciation of the unbounded creative energy in each of us--and the sacredness of all.
That said, there are two directions in experience: One falls deeper into the delusion of separation which creates the profane. The profane is merely a concept to describe a loss of orientation--a loss of the experience of our existing complete intimacy with each other, the world and the cosmos. The other direction of evolution is expansion into more and more awareness of love and the inescapable sacred intimacy of all.
So, about "intimacy": It cannot be achieved because it IS. All we can do is disguise or forget this truth. If we then forget our forgetting we devolve towards the profane. If we remember our forgetting and then remember our integral sacredness and the sacredness of all, then we evolve towards truth.
I have been celibate for seven years. My body many, many times each day scintillates with waves of chilling fire that dazzle through my form, up and down my spine into my head. It is the most exquisite pleasure I have ever known in flesh. I have dedicated my life to this presence and, although I love to give pleasure to others, I know that directing their minds to the physical aspects of pleasure in forms of sex (which defies the truth of intimacy already, inescapably present) is a devolution into the profane, rather than an evolution towards the truth that sacred intimacy is an inescapable fact. Separation and private deeds and private thoughts can only ever be imagined.
I am neither religious or spiritual. I am not seeking. I know what happens next because I have already died once. I came back to tell what I learned. We are unique but never separate. We are loved perfectly and eternally, no matter our delusions. We cannot be apart from what we are a part of. Any behavior or thinking that moves away from the reality of our divine integral authority is profane in the way I have defined it. It does not help. Thinking physical contact is required for intimacy is in this way profane. You may have never given this voice but any increasing aversion to sexual contact is an unspoken witnessing to these facts. Given that I feel and hear more and more the thoughts of others, I can hardly imagine being touched physically in a sexual manner. What man could I find who could match the level of awareness of assimilation into the constancy of intimacy that I already KNOW? It could only take me backwards and so it is profane. It is deception and an unhelpful illusion. By saying "I need this in order to have intimacy" we are denying the truth that all we can ever be is intimate.
“None sleep so soundly as those who but dream they are awake.”
How very interesting that I should happen on your website & read this post today. (I saw your post on the Awakened Dreamer's today & followed the link re: Schrodinger's Cat.)ReplyDelete
On my drive home from work today I was pondering this new sense that has arisen in me that I am so incredibly intimate with all of life, that even the thought of sexual intimacy seemed almost "disrespectful" and certainly not wanted or needed. Additionally, I even considered if I could ever be in a monogamous "relationship" with anyone, as that seemed impossible now, seeing how love just flows to all equally and a sense of "specialness" given to any certain one seems absurd... these are vastly different thoughts/feelings than I entertained for many years, however, they ring true now. Thank you for your post.
Thank you for your comment. I understand eXactly what you mean, although it is difficult to reconcile with our natural inclinations and the thinking of those around us. I have been asked, "Do you think sex is some sort of big-deal gift you give to a man?"Delete
"No. I think my chastity is a gift to God which is manifest in everything--NOT that God cares if we do or don't enjoy sex. But I love everyone and all the world and cosmos around me. If I found a man who reflected back to me that same appreciation and we came to want to stay together as a committed couple, I might entertain being sexual again provided the real intimacy was already appreciated. Meanwhile, I am celibate because casual sex cheapens the real deal."
We get to a point in our spiritual evolution where the vista is broad and vast and glorious--but there are so few with whom it can be shared. They just don't get it yet. If we can find another who does "get it", then an excited happy discovery of exactly how closely our visions match ensues and we might actually "rise in love with one another". We share thoughts and perspectives and ideas and suddenly we look at the "other" and realize we share a vision and understanding and there is joy to at last find another "who gets it". We have found another already intimate with all creation and the feeling of relief from our "solitude of experience" is delightful.
Sex says in every way "I want to share my very genome with you. Saliva, fluids, everything! Let us co-mingle physically as an expression of the intimacy that is already the truth of our hearts and being and the aspiration of our minds."
I want sex like anyone else but I can wait for something that feels as sacred and sweet as what I feel already and you can't often find that in this world. In this world sex is mostly a very shallow thing. Bodies but seem to be together and often the minds are not even on the lover but thinking about someone else for whom the participants are using each other as surrogates. It has always left me feeling something had been "cheapened".
Thank you again for your comment. Please come back sometime and, if you are looking to be reminded of what you are, I'm here.
Loving regards... CG
Just as there is a one-time intimacy so too is there an ongoing intimacy. Just as there exists intimacy between strangers in chance encounters, there exists long-term intimacy between friends or relatives. casanova tropfen erfahnrungberichteReplyDelete